March 2020
9 months. That’s how long it has been since the new normal began. Masks, sanitizers, Zoom calls and what not. 9 months which you will all agree, have felt like 9 years. A lot has happened in this period — I moved from the east to the west coast, anxiously watched Murica successfully elect a new president and realized suddenly every other guy next to me is talking marriage. On a more positive note, we went from zero to vaccine in these 9 months! These are tangible things but lets talk modern loneliness(Thanks Lauv).
It was a cold winter’s evening in Cambridge with some frozen snow still on the footpaths. I stepped out for a casual walk for the first time since the lockdown, wearing a mask (which felt apocalyptic then, like I was teleported to Beijing or Delhi) and constantly cleaning my fogging glasses. Naturally, my instincts made me take the path that I usually took to get to the subway on my way to work. So as I walked the path, I felt it. The sense of hollowness because the cries and laughs of random strangers and pedestrians that was always there, was missing.
The path went through the Harvard Yard. A popular spot for tourists and their selfie sticks. There would groups of tourists raptly listening to the tour guide explain the history of everything (probably the guide even told a line or two about the trash can), students running to their next class and me rushing through it all to get there in time for the first meeting of the day. However that evening, there was a ghostly silence. The place was completely deserted.
The thing about cities is, in the absence of a community it is mostly a lonely place. The noise — the cries, the laughter and the constant presence of people, does a great job of hiding it. You shut the noise and you get solitude. You shut it too much and there is loneliness. That day, walking through the desolate yard, loneliness was palpable.
I took a couple of loops of the yard that evening and on the way back home I stopped by a coffee shop that was still open. I walked in and ordered some coffee to go. It was getting a lot colder and I needed something hot. Thankfully, the order was ready in a minute. I grabbed it and stepped out. However, as I had my first sip I realised it was missing sugar.
It was missing sugar just like everything else.
